Max H: I have to go to the bathroom.
Me: Ok.
Max H: But not for the p-o-o word.
Me: Ok.
Max H: For the p-i word.
Me: For the pi?
Kids are so forward these days
John and Alicia sitting in a tree...
The two of them (both fifth-graders) are throwing foams at each other and Brie chimes in: "John, you look like you have the biggest crush on Alicia!"
To which he replies, "Obviously."
"What?!?"
"I've had a crush on Alicia since Grade 3 - everyone knows that. Duh!"
Meanwhile, Alicia whips a huge piece of foam at John's head!
WHAT A FLIRT!
The two of them (both fifth-graders) are throwing foams at each other and Brie chimes in: "John, you look like you have the biggest crush on Alicia!"
To which he replies, "Obviously."
"What?!?"
"I've had a crush on Alicia since Grade 3 - everyone knows that. Duh!"
Meanwhile, Alicia whips a huge piece of foam at John's head!
WHAT A FLIRT!
Milo
Biking down the streets today, I stumbled across my old summer camp (in March break camp obviously) and I was struck with vivid memories of funny and wonderful and lovely children. One of the best moments of the season happened when we were doing our ice-breaker games. The (super exciting) game was to say your name and your favourite food. A little excerpt:
"Hi, my name is Milo and my favourite food is Milo."
"Hi, my name is Milo and my favourite food is Milo."
St. Patty's Day
In celebration of St. Patrick's Day, I have a real diddy:
Matt: What do we celebrate on St. Patrick's Day?
Me: We celebrate a saint named Patrick.
Matt: Was he the saint of beer?
Me: Probably...
Matt: What do we celebrate on St. Patrick's Day?
Me: We celebrate a saint named Patrick.
Matt: Was he the saint of beer?
Me: Probably...
Colour blind?
Seven-year-old E has a bit of an identity crisis.
Me: So E, you're half-brown, eh?
E: What do you mean?
Me: Your dad is South Asian, right?
E: What? No! He's just realy tan.
Me: So E, you're half-brown, eh?
E: What do you mean?
Me: Your dad is South Asian, right?
E: What? No! He's just realy tan.
See Food
At my job, it's an unfortunate coincidence that we serve snack in the arts and crafts room. One lucky day, we had Goldfish crackers for snack, you know, those cheesy baked delicious crackers.
My attention was directed elsewhere when I heard Oliver egging on Lex, "Eat the fish! Eat it!" Then a slight mumble filled the room, followed with intense giggles. If you work with kids, you know that giggling means something's up. I turn toward Oliver and he's got this innocent smile on his face - I knew something was wrong. I turn to Lex, and he's laughing uncontrollably. Turns out he ate a tiny foam fish meant for crafts! Oliver looks at me and insists that he thought they were candy.
Maybe the seafood made them see food...
My attention was directed elsewhere when I heard Oliver egging on Lex, "Eat the fish! Eat it!" Then a slight mumble filled the room, followed with intense giggles. If you work with kids, you know that giggling means something's up. I turn toward Oliver and he's got this innocent smile on his face - I knew something was wrong. I turn to Lex, and he's laughing uncontrollably. Turns out he ate a tiny foam fish meant for crafts! Oliver looks at me and insists that he thought they were candy.
Maybe the seafood made them see food...
Bieber Fever
So if you don't know, Justin Bieber is kind of a huge deal. He's an even huger deal with kids. He's an even huger deal with Linda, a Grade 5 student. She absolutely adoooores JB.
Linda: Oh my God, you guys! Justin Bieber is so so so cute! I love Justin Bieber! I want to marry Justin Bieber.
Terry: Justin Bieber's gay!
Linda: I know! He went on Oprah and announced it on national television. But he's still sooooo cute!
Ahh, true love.
Linda: Oh my God, you guys! Justin Bieber is so so so cute! I love Justin Bieber! I want to marry Justin Bieber.
Terry: Justin Bieber's gay!
Linda: I know! He went on Oprah and announced it on national television. But he's still sooooo cute!
Ahh, true love.
How do you tell a kid that her feet smell?
Usually when I tutor, I like to sit right beside my students to make it less formal and so I can help them better. However when Sammy (Grade 6) walked in the room, I knew this wasn't an option. Her Uggs were soaking and her entrance caused the room to go real sour real quick. It smelled exactly how it looked - nasty, grimey, stank, wet boots. I had never taken so many bathroom (more like breathing) breaks in one hour.
To top it all off, Sammy asked me whether I had ever had athlete's foot.
My response: get your feet checked.
To top it all off, Sammy asked me whether I had ever had athlete's foot.
My response: get your feet checked.
When parents agree
When 10-year-old Seth was being a jerk, I told him like it is. He didn't appreciate my forthrightness. He decided to get me back by tattling.
Seth (whining): Mom! Terrence called me a jerk!
Mom: Well... Sometimes you are.
I love when parents agree with me.
Seth (whining): Mom! Terrence called me a jerk!
Mom: Well... Sometimes you are.
I love when parents agree with me.
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