kids are assholes

As we all know, little kids can be real assholes. Here I present a few examples of their asshole behaviours. I've worked with children for several years now, so I can easily pick out the most asshole of all the assholes.

Learning Languages

One of our newest students recently arrived in Canada from China. Today he went on a walk with my co-worker, learning names of nouns on the street. My co-worker, J, trying to refresh his memory:
J: If there is a fire, where does the water come out of?
Fred, 16: Fire... fire... hy -- he -- uhhh?
J: Yeah, you almost got it.
Fred: Fire hose-tree!
I was chatting with my co-worker about baseball games and trying to be subtle because there were kids around.
Me: So can you get beverages at baseball games?
Jason (Grade 5): You can get beer.

Phobias

Kevin: Terrence, I'm scared.
Me: Why?
Kevin: Well, there's this really popular girl in my class. She's apparently the most popular girl in the whole of Grade 5.
Me: So why are you scared? Is she being mean to you?
Kevin: She bit me.